Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
