I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
