toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
