if you like me you must not know who I am
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
