if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize