i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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