we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
