it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
