i think i have herpe
just one?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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