this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
