I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
