is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize