No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
