You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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