I got chris browned last night
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
