I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
