You really coming over, don't trick.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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