the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
