Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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