I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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