If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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