Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize