i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
