Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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