hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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