I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.