these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I am one with the molecules
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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