Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.

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  (908): Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog. http://tfl.nu/8v75
  Replies (27) Good night (911) Bad night (2025)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.

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  (847): Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie. http://tfl.nu/jaub
  Replies (22) Good night (703) Bad night (4310)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?

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  (301): do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning? http://tfl.nu/rfsi
  Replies (55) Good night (4898) Bad night (542)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.

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  (610): The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed. http://tfl.nu/1baq
  Replies (21) Good night (4306) Bad night (864)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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  (603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm
  Replies (24) Good night (1822) Bad night (3544)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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  (815): He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing? http://tfl.nu/c8yk
  Replies (36) Good night (6251) Bad night (1475)
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  (831): View more from California

  i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?

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  (831): i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock? http://tfl.nu/twxe
  Replies (5) Good night (5019) Bad night (1105)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?

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  (704): Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane? http://tfl.nu/zikg
  Replies (11) Good night (3446) Bad night (1097)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.

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  (503): no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week. http://tfl.nu/b65a
  Replies (14) Good night (1736) Bad night (2052)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you

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  (214): My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you http://tfl.nu/i385
  Replies (12) Good night (4016) Bad night (1033)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.

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  (941): My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order. http://tfl.nu/gp8x
  Replies (7) Good night (607) Bad night (1558)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.

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  (401): The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm. http://tfl.nu/9ejj
  Replies (15) Good night (2545) Bad night (643)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS

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  (941): I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off (1-941): Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS http://tfl.nu/yudy
  Replies (6) Good night (1374) Bad night (563)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon

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  (904): We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon http://tfl.nu/g9lm
  Replies (3) Good night (1146) Bad night (426)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.

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  (541): So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come. http://tfl.nu/7g6u
  Replies (19) Good night (1494) Bad night (378)

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