Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.

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  (631): I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week. http://tfl.nu/88zi
  Replies (14) Good night (806) Bad night (2985)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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  (512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w
  Replies (22) Good night (4560) Bad night (1182)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.

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  (563): when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle. http://tfl.nu/q5ra
  Replies (17) Good night (4707) Bad night (1389)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.

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  (240): woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again. http://tfl.nu/b9n0
  Replies (24) Good night (4248) Bad night (1454)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

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  (336): I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing. http://tfl.nu/tg4w
  Replies (12) Good night (6270) Bad night (1246)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows

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  (631): You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows http://tfl.nu/rci2
  Replies (44) Good night (4692) Bad night (2935)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.

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  (606): I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships. http://tfl.nu/4vx4
  Replies (10) Good night (1300) Bad night (1364)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.

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  (208): Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea. http://tfl.nu/vb43
  Replies (7) Good night (1151) Bad night (704)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed

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  (402): If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed http://tfl.nu/sm0v
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (457)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.

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  (321): Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed. http://tfl.nu/dayu
  Replies (2) Good night (725) Bad night (399)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I like the wholesome side of you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.

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  (503): I like the wholesome side of you (571): I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots. http://tfl.nu/22ah
  Replies (3) Good night (1621) Bad night (505)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.

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  (206): As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light. http://tfl.nu/6mx3
  Replies (10) Good night (2786) Bad night (538)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.

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  (610): All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship. http://tfl.nu/y1t2
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (338)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight

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  (212): Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight http://tfl.nu/x45a
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (446)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right

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  (514): If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right http://tfl.nu/t6fg
  Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (262)

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