Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

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  (775): My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication. http://tfl.nu/hfzx
  Replies (38) Good night (824) Bad night (2550)
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  (310): View more from California

  i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."

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  (310): i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week." http://tfl.nu/whj8
  Replies (86) Good night (20748) Bad night (1784)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously i just wanna be friends

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  pass

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  (508): seriously i just wanna be friends (1-508): pass http://tfl.nu/b8w4
  Replies (39) Good night (1591) Bad night (6014)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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  (919): Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment. http://tfl.nu/yr4f
  Replies (10) Good night (3328) Bad night (1932)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?

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  (361): Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home? http://tfl.nu/3vxh
  Replies (2) Good night (2552) Bad night (901)
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  (760): View more from California

  if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel

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  (760): if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel http://tfl.nu/4p3k
  Replies (6) Good night (3180) Bad night (1302)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..

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  (212): You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark.. http://tfl.nu/eret
  Replies (12) Good night (2231) Bad night (783)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic

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  (859): I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic http://tfl.nu/wb2m
  Replies (7) Good night (1186) Bad night (2186)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  how did i know this would happen?

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  (412): I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN (1-412): how did i know this would happen? http://tfl.nu/2nli
  Replies (8) Good night (2045) Bad night (1348)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.

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  (630): What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday. http://tfl.nu/1egp
  Replies (4) Good night (1689) Bad night (674)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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  (704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (1113)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  I wish I could understand how you function in society

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  (778): it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body (1-778): I wish I could understand how you function in society http://tfl.nu/9z0t
  Replies (4) Good night (1731) Bad night (633)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.

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  (425): She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude. http://tfl.nu/4r57
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (1022)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  I'm so proud, I have tears

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  (330): I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out. (1-330): I'm so proud, I have tears http://tfl.nu/7h1f
  Replies (5) Good night (1112) Bad night (396)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.

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  (503): If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it. http://tfl.nu/6z3z
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (407)

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