Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize