Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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