She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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