Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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