There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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