Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Who died my cat blue again?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
