with your own penis?
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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