if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize