erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
