then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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