Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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