is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Randomize
