i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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