I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So squirting runs in the family.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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