Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
