Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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