Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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