I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
