Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
