your thong is hanging out like whoa
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
