I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
