im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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