nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i need some magic done to my vagina
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
