i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
