I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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