she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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