and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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