and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
