Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
