I feel like I'm in dance class right now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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