I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So vagazzling was a success
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
