Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
