is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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