But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
