I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
