the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
