The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
