I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
thus making me awesome and them whores
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
